why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
