Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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