Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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