I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
