love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
worst night to have a conscience
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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