question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
