i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Randomize
