About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
