how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
