definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
