Who did Billy Mays play for?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Randomize
