in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
