R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
