Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
