i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
