if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I cut my penus on the lid.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
