$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize