I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
this will be a night to untag.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
