Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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