I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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