a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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