Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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