we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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