once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
