Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
