We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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