guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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