What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize