what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
