More tranny stories later!
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
