the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
