k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize