My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
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