Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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