i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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