Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I think my vagina is haunted
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
