no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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