just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I need a burrito and a hug.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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