What a fucking waste of an outfit
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
