I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
