its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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