i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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