Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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