He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
