No more Irish car bombs ever.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
