Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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