I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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