just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
