butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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