Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
