I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
