I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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