Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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