I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
