its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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