my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
