Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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