Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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