Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
