I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
