hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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