Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize