new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
